Gonna give reason one more try here before I decide to be done with this. Buelahman, old buddy, if you actually bother to read this, it might leave a mark. That’s your problem. You have a thick skull, and I just don’t know how else to deal with the bullshit. You brought these words on yourself. I apologize to no one for my writing at this blog.
I do not understand why it is necessary for BuelahMan to add the words “Shitbag, Gene’O” to this pingback.
I am appalled at how quickly and easily BuelahMan made the decision to go that route over a disagreement between two grown men that we could have been handled like adults. I find it breathtakingly funny coming from a man who had just spent all those words going on and on and on about the right to speak his mind. I wish he would stop pretending this argument is about what he writes on his blog, and I think it’s dishonest of him to do that. When I first saw that pingback, I wondered why he didn’t just come out and tell his readers “If you luv me, you won’t click on this link, m’kay?”
I left a comment over there last night, and as of this writing, it hadn’t been allowed to post. I am assuming it won’t be. I am a little surprised at having my comment privileges revoked without at least being allowed the courtesy of responding directly to that post. That’s behavior I typically associate with the wingnut fringe of the GOP. These look to me like the actions of a man who can’t deal with criticism, and who knows he’s wrong but can’t admit it. Or maybe just the actions of a man who likes to be the alpha everywhere he goes.
Coming from a thirteen-year-old this stuff might be understandable. From a grown man who calls himself a political blogger, and spends his time working himself into a lather about the (very real) assault on our rights, it’s pathetic. He has lost all credibility with me. If you’re not willing to walk the walk, don’t bother to talk the fucking talk. BuelahMan is just an entertainer.
It’s taking every ounce of restraint I have to stop short of going ahead and calling BuelahMan a coward and a hypocrite straight-up. Maybe I am too reasonable. I won’t call him a coward or a hypocrite just yet. I truly believe he is better than this. But I will say that I view his behavior over the last couple of days as cowardly and hypocritical. It’s his decision to treat me like a troll. No skin off my nose that he’s doing so, but I get to speak my mind about his behavior.
Read the comment thread that generated all this heat and judge for yourself what I said.
Here is what I was trying to say (and not say). Whether it came through or not.
I was not trying to tell Buelahman what to write or what to think or do with his blog, for fuck’s sake.
When Buelahman or anyone else decide to exercise their free speech in the form of public comments on blogs run by people that I consider friends and allies, and when their speech involves calling ALL PROGRESSIVE BLOGGERS (or “So-Called Progressive bloggers”) cocksuckers, I am going to exercise my own right to speak up. When you come into my friend’s house and start scrawling graffiti all over the walls and pissing on the rug, I am going to object to your behavior and suggest that you clean up your mess. Anyone who knows me should expect that from me. It works the same way online as it does in real life. It’s got nothing to do with free speech. It’s got everything to do with respect and fair play. Doesn’t matter if it’s my house or not. I have an interest and a right to speak.
The comment I objected to was part of a big chunk of blog post pasted directly into the thread. If he had simply dropped a link, the tone of my response would have been much more congenial. He’s the one who chose to paste it in. BFD, but this was on a blog that I read almost every day and link to often. I get to say whatever I like about comments posted there as long as I stay within the guidelines laid down by the owner. And I didn’t see the original post when he first published it. If I had, I would have responded on the comment thread over at his place, and my tone would have been much more congenial.
Bottom line: If you want to go around pasting your work onto blogs you don’t own, have at it. But be prepared to receive an honest response. Especially if you’re spreading around the sort of stuff that BEGS for a response.
My last comment to BuelahMan on that thread was fair. Any person interested in being reasonable and working out the disagreement would have taken the out that I offered. BuelahMan elected forgo any further response on that thread.
He decided instead to play the victim for the benefit of people who maybe had no idea our conversation had even taken place. That says way more about him than it does about me. I was not surpised, but it was his decision to go there. Not mine. He deserved the response he got from me, and I stand behind every word of it. I love how people who THINK they know exactly what progressive means love to accuse us of whining when we actually, you know, take a firm stand. As far as I’m concerned, merciless ridicule is a perfectly appropriate response to that level of stupidity, and I do not believe I am the one doing the whining.
Maybe now some of you folks who have been following along with me at home can see why I am so adamant when I say it is foolish to get all hung up on civility when you are not getting any reciprocity from the other side.
BuelahMan took me off his blogroll last night. I decided to sleep on all of this, and give him a few hours to cool off. I’d rather hoped he would stop being so infantile and open a channel. Typically, I only remove blogs if they shut down. I never do it vindictively. I am removing him now, and not because I’m angry.
I am removing him because I cannot in good conscience recommend him or promote his work any more, given how quickly he escalated this little flame war, or whatever he believes it to be. And given the fact that it took him less than 24 hours begin attempting – laughable though his attempts may be – to direct his slings and arrows at my person rather than at my arguments.
I am not changing to his comment privileges, and I don’t plan on doing so unless he really asks for it. I want him to be able to open a line of communication with me later if he wants to. I believe that when you write about someone by name, it’s only fair to allow them a direct response, and passive aggressive games aren’t going to resolve this. But do I have to stand firm here. I am simply not going to say I am out of line on this just so BuelahMan can feel like the daddy. It would be dishonest, and that is just not the way I roll. No amount of concern trolling or abusive language is going to change my mind. But maybe direct conversation can still be productive, so I’m not burning the last bridge just yet.
@ All my friends and neighbors: If you blogrolled BuelahMan because I recommended him, or if I introduced you to his work (some of which has been pretty good), please accept my apology. I am not making any suggestions to anyone else, and I am not happy about losing a Southern Voice. I just need to assure all of you that I am totally capable of behaving as an adult when I run into him at the places we both frequent. I hope he won’t stop coming around, and I hope he won’t take out his anger with me on others. But I need to be very clear here. I am no longer willing to vouch for him the way I would an offline friend or a nominal ally.
I have no respect for him left beyond the minimal level of respect that I afford all human beings, and not one ounce of trust.
And yes, I am done with this now — at least I hope so.



